28 June 2011

Of Quitting & Keeping Promises.

I quit Facebook and smoking at the same time. The two best things for me during bored Saturday afternoons when there really isn't much to do but watch TV, surf the net and drown yourself in hours and hours of random FB updates. I have nothing against Facebook but I really have to admit, I hate how it eats up your time, energy and "real" life. I think my social life can somewhat survive without it. What I really need now is quality people time. I miss doing more meaningful things with my time like reading a good book or magazine or watching a beautiful film at home while curled up in the arms of dear husband. I want to focus more on house chores and daily mundane errands. I've been living a little recklessly the past couple of months and the guilt has finally caught up on me. I feel like I haven't really grown much as a person and I feel that this is the right time to start anew. Stop all bad and immature habits and just learn to live in the present and be contented with what I already have. Skype, blogging, texting, snail mailing and long phone calls can replace Facebook and help me keep in touch with my "real" friends.  With that I can also then be able to deal with the foreseen smoking withdrawals. We'll see. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Plus, this blog needs a major makeover. I haven't been updating it as much as I would like, so I have to focus on this baby of mine for now. 

No more comparing and no more being insecure of other people because of the lightest of reasons. I'm such a spoiled brat sometimes I really need a wake up call. I don't need to be perfect. I just need to be me. This whole world I've put myself into has become very toxic and I prefer not to be immune to this materialistic and accomplishment-driven scenario. I need to find my own place in this world where I can live happy and at peace. 

The "quitting cold turkey thing" is for dear husband who wants me to stop smoking permanently. I can't blame him, it really hasn't done anything good but damage our lungs. I'm having a hard time typing this right now as every smoker knows it is a damn big challenge. I have turned into a cigarette slave where all my actions and decisions have been dictated by a stick of tobacco. Not good. So I am quitting and I am putting it out there for the world to see. So shame on me if you see me in a coffee shop smoking away like this blog entry has never existed. 

So there, I am quitting two of my most favorite past times and trying to keep my word that I shall never smoke again. Promises are so easy to break when it involves only something as simple as lighting a cigarette stick but I have to do this now. Not for my family, friends or even my husband. I am doing this for me. 

I want to take out all toxins in life, find balance and be cleansed. It's a challenge but I am open to it. If not now, there will be no other time to do this. So help me God. 

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